“Okay, I’ll be your girlfriend.”
I regretted those words as soon as they were out of my mouth. It felt like ants and spiders crawling and having a sprinting competition on my skin. I offered him a fake smile, even though the look of Joy on his face made my belly turn sour.
How did I get here?
Rewind back to three days earlier. I was in the second semester of my third year in uni and I had just lost a friend. This was the first person in my life that I had ever lost and I wasn’t sure of how to grieve.
I had another friend that bore a sort of resemblance to the friend that I lost and I recall always speaking about how much they looked like each other. It was no surprise that after I lost one in an accident, I depended on the other for comfort, even going as far as calling him the name of my dead friend.
While this dude never complained about this, I became very dependent on him for comfort. He, on the other hand, began to catch some feelings unbeknown to me.
On that particular Sunday, we were hanging out together as friends and I was enjoying the comfort of having him around. Out of the blue, this dude felt the need to ruin my day by telling me that he likes me and he wants me to be his girlfriend.🤦🏾♀️
I was very quick to say ‘no’ because I knew that our relationship was purely platonic and I just couldn’t see him as anything other than a friend or even a brother.
This dude spent time trying to convince me to say yes, but knowing myself, I refused. He then stated that this was going to be his last time to ask me out, but I still insisted on saying ‘no’
I asked the clichéd “Hope we can still be friends,” but he insisted that we can’t be friends because his feelings for me were too strong to just be around me as a friend.
I let him go, even though I needed him to comfort me in my mourning.
If I had known better I would have sought the Lord for comfort and not a man.
That same week on a Wednesday, I saw him while I was out of my hostel and he approached me. Despite the fact that he said he wouldn’t ask again, he asked me to be his girlfriend AGAIN!😔😔
Vulnerable as I was at that point, I was less aggressive in my response this time because of my grieving. After a short while of dilly dallying, I agreed to his proposal and said ‘yes’ this time. 😓
If I had known better I would never have let anybody pressure me into saying yes
Now back to the spiders and ants crawling and racing on my skin as soon as I said “Okay, I’ll be your girlfriend.” —- That feeling did not cease afterwards. 😭
I began to seek counsel from my friends on my feelings. I also sought counsel on whether or not to keep the relationship. My friends encouraged me to stay in the relationship with him, but spiders and ants kept increasing and I just couldn’t shake up the feeling of irritation.
Don’t get me wrong, this dude was tall, dark and handsome. I just for some reason wasn’t interested in him. I guess the friendzone is real…😏
On Friday that same week, he planned a date for us. My mind was made up, my friend’s advice notwithstanding. As we ate on our date, I said the four most dreaded words in any relationship.
“We need to talk”
He stopped eating and stared at me for a few seconds as if he could read my thoughts. He pushed his food away and a sour look graced his handsome face.
“You’re gonna break up with me, aren’t you?” He asked.
I was relieved he did the hard part for me and I nodded in response…
I tried explaining my predicament to him but it fell on deaf ears. He kept mumbling over and over… or he was saying things that I just wasn’t paying attention to😅. I was busy relishing the fact that the spiders and ants had disappeared off my skin😌.
Well that was my shortest relationship. It lasted 3 days (or less😅)
What happened afterwards? Well we became friends or that’s what I think…🤷🏽♀️ It might have been a one-sided friendship on my path, but one thing I know for sure was that I didn’t need him for any comfort at all afterwards… In fact he was the last person that came to my mind when I took up comfort and he began to look nothing like the friend I lost .😂
He left the school after that semester. Hopefully I had nothing to do with that decision. 🤷🏽♀️